Often times I find myself carrying on about my regular day when I will be struck with a halting thought. Sometimes it will be things that affirm my worth, like the fact that God loves me despite my faults or that he has created a body of people (his Church) on this earth that I can call my family. Other times it will be the realization that I have been sinning in such a way that I didn’t even notice. Those instances are maybe when I have been discouraging to someone I love about something they value or thinking I am better than someone because of the disparities between our behaviors or the way we speak. Recently, I was struck with a thought that made me pause for longer than normal. Had I been gossiping? In an effort to answer this question, I began analyzing what I was saying to or about other people, and what my motives were in sharing information. It was then that I realized I didn’t even know what the biblical definition of gossip was.
How was I to make a sound judgment on my own behaviors if I didn’t know what God considered gossip? I praised him for the fact that I could easily access any and all scriptures on gossip with a few clicks on my keyboard. Once I had located the scriptures, I turned to my Bible in order to read them in context for fear of misunderstanding or misusing them. I was pleased to find that, unlike some other concepts in the Bible, the concept of gossip was pretty straightforward and clear.
I came across scriptures like, “Do not spread false reports” (Exodus 23:1a) and, “Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it” (James 4: 11a). False reports were easy to understand. If you’re going to make a report, don’t let it be false. But what about slandering brothers and sisters? The Cambridge Dictionary defines slander as “a false, spoken statement about someone which damages that person's reputation” (2018). So, slandering is the making of false reports, but ones that specifically damage someone’s reputation.
Proverbs was also very helpful in understanding what gossip is. It said things like, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11: 13), and “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16: 28). One of the Bibles I was reading from was the Quest Study Bible. In this particular Bible, there are columns to help readers understand a concept in more detail. Fortunately for me, one of the columns was about gossiping versus venting. The column posed important questions that made me more reflective on what I was saying to my friends or family when I am “venting” about something that has agitated or hurt me.
The questions posed were “Does the discussion stir up dissension (conflict)? Will your venting possibly rip apart a friendship?” I had never before considered that my “venting” could possibly be gossiping. I only thought that it was a safe way to deal with my frustrations about situations or people. The Lord is good about pointing things out to us though, and now I see that, if my “venting” creates conflict or damages relationships, it is considered gossiping. Therefore, the negativity that my gossiping creates outweighs the temporary relief I feel about the situation after discussing it.
After that exploration, I could identify gossip. Or at least, I was learning to identify hidden gossip. But big deal, I could spot gossip. So, what now? What does gossip do?
Why was it important to avoid? Some effects of gossip were very strait forward, like causing conflict or breaking apart friendships. Other effects were less direct and more subtle. James 1: 26 says, “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” Here, James is speaking to the religious people. He is telling them that they need to be mindful of what they say. He is also warning that, if they are not mindful of what they say, their religion can be considered worthless.
Gossip is difficult to abstain from. However, it is not impossible. Can you remember a time where someone in your church body gossiped? Were you disappointed? Did they seem less “religious” to you? Like maybe what they said about God and the gospel meant a little less coming out of their mouth because of their gossip? Though we are human and prone to making mistakes, we must strive to represent Christ accurately*. If gossip can make someone think less of the Good News that we have the privilege of sharing, shouldn’t we as believers strive to avoid it?
Another few verses I found that helped me understand some of the damage that gossip can cause were in Romans. “Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister” (Romans 14: 13). Have you ever heard someone gossiping and you just got sucked into the conversation? Or maybe you were gossiping and someone else came over to join? What a disservice that is! Gossip is so easy to latch onto. It spreads quickly and others are inclined to engage in it. If we begin that cycle, we are subsequently tempting brothers and sisters to also engage in gossip. We are setting up a “stumbling block” in their path, as the verse terms it. Instead we should strive to embody verse 19; “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification” (Romans 14: 19).
Edification is defined by the Cambridge Dictionary as “the improvement of the mind and understanding, especially by learning” (2018). In this case, the improvement of the mind and understanding would come about by learning more about God, his nature, and the gospel. So, instead of creating a temptation for others, let us edify and build up one another in truth and love. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph. 4: 29).
We are called to be the body of Christ in this world, striving to reach people in whatever way God asks us to. If we are to accurately represent Jesus, we need to be mindful of what we say, how we say it, and in what company we say it. We should not be causing conflict or breaking up friendships. We should not be creating stumbling blocks for our brothers and sisters in Christ. We should not slander our brothers and sisters, but instead aim to edify them and build them up.
Prayer:
Lord, thank you for giving us your Word. Thank you for your constant provision and guidance. Thank you for making clear what gossip is and why we should abstain from it. We want to accurately represent your Son, Jesus Christ, to the world around us. Help us be mindful of what we say. Help us to not create stumbling blocks for others. Help us to not create conflict. Help us to not break up friendships. Help us to not slander our brothers and sisters. We ask you today to help us avoid gossiping. “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalms 141: 3). We thank you for all you have done and are continuing to do. In your Son’s precious name we pray. Amen.
*Note to remember: Through faith in Jesus Christ we are forgiven. If we “mess up” or sin, all we have to do is ask for forgiveness and it will be given to us. However, God’s grace is not a free pass to behave any way we like. We should still do our very best to represent Christ accurately.
Kayla Davis is a senior at Salisbury University, Salisbury, Maryland, majoring in early childhood education.
Beautiful! So true and informed