The Purge

Guest post by Hannah Stadalis, published June 7, 2019, and reposted June 7, 2020, Facebook. Used by permission. After separating from her husband, the author found the cleansing of her house and heart to be cathartic. Hannah lives in Louisiana and is a respiratory therapist.

I’ve decided to go through my entire house because for awhile now I’ve felt like a purge was what I needed, and it is in no way coincidental. It was God’s way of telling me to empty these spaces for Him to move again within me. The deep sting of knowing I’ve got to let go is something I’ve dreaded. I’ve never been good at letting go, and my own unwillingness has left me overwhelmed, anxious, and a bit claustrophobic.

So to some this picture is just garbage bags full of things, but to me this picture is a visual representation of my life and the season I currently find myself in. A season of letting go even amidst my own stubbornness. Letting go of hurt and fear. Letting go of material things because material things bring me comfort when it should be God I look to for comfort. Letting go of expectation and what I thought my life would look like at 27. Letting go of what I thought marriage looked like and accepting what is. Letting go of insecurities and self-doubt and so many other things. My world seemed black and white for so long because I allowed these things to skew my vision, but now I can say I’m starting to see in color again.

I’ve had somewhat of an epiphany. Letting go leaves room for God to creep in the crevices of my heart where I once filled them with all these things ... all these hurts and lies. Donating things can bless someone else’s life while giving God room to move in mine. Detaching myself from material things gives God room to move in my spirit. I can trade fear for bravery. Hurt for forgiveness. Expectation for reality. The idea of what I thought marriage looked like for what God says marriage is and should be. Insecurities for identity. Self-doubt for self-compassion.

Letting go not only gives God room to move, but it essentially gives you permission to grow. You’re. giving. yourself. permission. to. grow. All the clutter, the baggage, the unnecessary things that take up space do just that — they take up space. Space in your home, your life, your heart, your spirit, and eventually the bright, vibrant colors starts to fade. Black and white starts to invade what once was full of life. You find yourself stuck in the mundane routine of the every day. You find yourself so distant from God. Stressed. Anxious. There seems to be no light at the end of it all, but letting go of these things allows for the light to come back into these once filled spaces. Light full of color and life. Letting go allows for God to make you new. It allows for God to move only in a way that HE can.

So friends whatever it is today you’re holding onto for dear life — let it go. You’re holding onto it so tightly your blood-filled hands are white because your grip is so tight. Let it go. Let everything go that holds you down, that skews your vision, that hinders you from being all that God calls you to be.

Let it go and eventually it’ll let the light in. ❤️

Photo by the author